always look on the bright side of life..

you know those times where you just feel so content with everything? when, even though there is so many problems in today's world, that everything just seems ok.

that's how i feel. optimistic. like everything is going to be ok. the world isn't a horrible place - not all the time anyway.

the last six months haven't been great for my family and there were times when we all felt like it was too much. it seemed like it was just one thing after another. but when it comes down to it.. we're all fighters. we all had it in us to keep going when all we wanted to do was break down and cry. and we did that, plenty of times. but we all had the strength and courage to get back up and get on with life.

to me, being content doesn't mean having everything. it doesn't mean getting everything you want. it means being able to appreciate everything you do have. i have the best family anyone could ask for. i have the greatest friends in the world. and even though most of us are separated by 300km or so, we will be friends for a long time. i have no doubt in that. i've made new friends here in melbourne, which makes being down here and away from everyone else a lot easier. and all of that outweighs all the bad things.

so, at this moment in time - life is good.

cya xx

the wicked run away when no one is chasing them, but the godly are as bold as lions

tonight, i was meeting up with a friend who wanted me to come to this 'party'. she hadn't told me much about it, but i thought 'hey, why not?'.
so i get to her place where i was meeting here and she tells me that's it's at a church. basically, it was a youth group type thing. she was worried if she told me beforehand that i wouldn't come.

i'll admit - i was a skeptical. i've never been a religious person, and being in religious type situations always made me uncomfortable. but i was already there, so i figured i may as well go in for at least a little while.

it was amazing. i've never seen anything like it. there was over 200 people, all there for the same reason. they were so passionate.. so energetic.. they get really into it.

when my nana died about a month ago.. it was hard. it wasn't unexpected, but it was still hard. i got a piece of her jewelery... a cross necklace. my nana wasn't particularly religious herself, but it was a necklace that had been passed down from her family.

it might sound weird, or crazy but getting that necklace was the first of quite a few.. signs. there was something pushing me towards a faith. and tonight was the last sign i needed.

it never struck me as an important thing to have - faith, i mean. but seeing all these people tonight made me realize how important it really is. and i know it's quite easy to be cynical about something.. having faith takes a lot more courage.

ok, i think i've rambled enough for tonight! sorry if all that seems jumbled. just had a lot to think about tonight!
i have an 8.30 class in the morning so i probably should get myself to bed!

cya xx

i need a job.

seriously. i've only been down here just over a week, and i just have too much free time. i've put in applications in so many places, i just need to wait now, i guess. but i'm going insane. sure, i used to be ok with just sitting around the house but now.. now i just get so bored. i used to fill the boredom with eating but even that's stopped (which is a good thing, i guess?).

i'm in a massive city, where i don't know anyone close to me; no job and a huge amount of free time. BAH! hoping i hear back from someone soon.

but, on a good note. TAFE is going pretty damn well, so far. for one class, i did my first two assignments and they've been graded already. 15/15 for both! they were easy as though, so it's not a huge accomplishment, but i think i'm off to a good start :) although i had chemistry today and it made me realise that i know nothing about math. which is going to be a lot more work, but i think i can do it :)

anyway.. i don't have much else to say so i'll leave it at that for now.

cya! xx

swim

you've gotta swim, swim for your life.. swim for the music that saves you.. when you're not so sure you'll survive..
you gotta swim and swim when it hurts.. the whole world is watching.. you haven't come this far to fall off the earth.

swim - jack's mannequin

right now, it hurts.

i don't write anymore.

i haven't written anything since april. i used to spend hours sitting in front of my computer or with a notebook.. typing or scribbling away and making poetry. i used to find inspiration in everything.

it's like the words just aren't there. i miss writing. it was my release. and without it, i feel like i'm missing part of who i am.

maybe it's just me changing and growing up? maybe that's part of me that i'm leaving behind as i get older.

i hope not.

Changing Ways

Another new song! This one is one I've been working on for about a week, finished it just before I had to leave for work. I'm pretty happy with this one as well. :)
Let me know what you think!


I was never the girl that stood out from the crowd;
sat back and watched,
refused to be loud.
I was never the girl who could light up a room;
but all that's gonna change soon.

[CHORUS]
I'm gonna let them see who I am inside;
let my hair down,
swallow my pride.
I won't live like this any longer;
changing ways will make me stronger,
stronger, yeah.

I'm know gonna change the world one day;
gonna speak up,
gonna have my say.
Gonna leave my past where it belongs,
I'll be the one i knew that i'd be all along

[CHORUS]
I'm gonna let them see who I am inside;
let my hair down,
swallow my pride.
I won't live like this any longer;
changing ways will make me stronger,
stronger, yeah.

So I'll hold on, just a little bit longer;
stop hoping, start believing
like they told me to.
I'm gonna be someone you're proud to say,
“she's mine”

[CHORUS]
I've let them see who I am inside;
let my hair down,
I swallowed my pride.
I'm not living like that any longer;
changing ways has make me stronger,
stronger, yeah.