It's funny, even though I've started taking really positive steps in my life and making goals towards becoming happy and healthier, I find myself missing the way things used to be. I'm changing as a person, and I know it's a good thing but it's going to take some getting used to. I mean, sure the old me was anti-social, had low self esteem and was just generally unhappy with herself and life, but it was me, you know? Although it wasn't a very healthy image, I felt like I knew who I was. And now, I have no idea. I've hidden behind all my problems for years and it's hard to get out of that and get used to becoming someone new.
On the other hand, I'm really excited to be starting all these new things. I'm on a new diet, I've started karate and I feel like I'm finally taking control over my own life. And that does feel good.
But right now, I don't think even a staircase of positive steps could stop me missing how things were. One corner of my bedroom wall is pretty much covered to the ceiling in memories. Photos, movie tickets, movie posters. Every time I look at it, I'm reminded of school and my friends; and how much I know I'm going to miss it in years to come.
But everything changes eventually, right? Just gotta deal with it, I guess.
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One of the few things that doesn't change is the certainty that everything changes. Hmm. As you say, knowing that, we've just gotta deal with it.
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean, for me it started when I was at school camps, when it was the last day and we were packing up I felt this sad feeling and missed the place afterwards.
ReplyDeleteWhen I moved to another town the same thing happened, and as I grow older I think of past memories and want to go back there, especially fun times I had with friends.
It really makes me sad as I think I will never be able to do it again, or wont be able to be in that exact environment again.
Even if I was with the same people again doing the same thing it wouldnt be the same because they have matured and it would be different.
lol don't expect anyone to understand tho....
Cheers,
Mike
(messagemike+hotmail.com)
I stumbled opon this randomly and I feel the exact same way. Very well said.
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